why does this always happen? i get to a point in my life where i am happy and content and couldnt ask for more, and then god remembers he doesnt love me and ruins it all.

stupid god.

i just woke up after sleeping for 16 hours. thats sick isnt it?

i miss people, so many people. people i wasnt even really friends with, i see them or their page and i miss them.

steve and i were on the verge of breaking up on saturday. it was so close. my hand was litterally on the door, about to leave for good. then we made up. that was nice. it's still weird though, going from hey we arent meant for eachother to i love you sooo much. i guess it's just our lonely charade. so heres our conclusion:
-we will never get married
-we are going to break up soonish
-we love eachother more then anyone else that we have ever loved
-we hate each other.

so i went out with steven bradly today and it was compleatly wonderful. i absolutly adore him. it was the perfect date. drive to the beach, get dinner, watch the sunset. wonderful. perfect. happy. i cant wait to go out again!

tonight was absolutly wonderful.









i'm in like.

i'm fucking up my life as well as i can. that is for sure. i havent gone to any class in about 2 weeks now. i have finals in two weeks, and have no idea what we have been doing. shit i dont know. i guess i appreciate staying out late and partying and doing shit that i really shouldnt be doing instead of waking up at 8 and going to class. everyday i go to bed thinking im going to wake up and be a good person and do my shit for the day when i need to, yet when my alarm goes off, i say, not today, maybe tomorrow. then i sleep until 2pm. do you know how unfulfilling your day is when you wake up and have to go to work a couple hours later, then after work, sit and do nothing. eh well whatever. im off to work a 10 hour shift. peace out homefry.

as of now, i havent slept in 35 hours. its fun. i nee dto do this more often, maybe not. good weekend, hell good week. i enjoy my friends so much, i am so glad they are in my life, they make everything better and dealable.

i love jared, he makes me smile.

things arent going the way they should be.

haa haa haa haa haa...

no one will ever guess who i slept with... haa haa haa. work is now going to be very akward.. haa haa haa.

ATTN: EVERYONE SHOULD GO SEE WAITING!!! it is so funny! i was like about to poo myself! so great!


thats all.

If you read this,
even if we do not speak often,
comment with one memory of me.
It can be anything you want,
good or bad.
Just as long as it happened.
Then post this on your livejournal.
See what other people remember about you...

:(

i fucking frucnk and i like ir!

so there is nothing more gratifying then kissing your exboyfriends friend in front if him.

so happyness isnt knocking at my door now. it never will. i am destined to be loney and sad. thats all.

so... after work yesterday i went to some partu in covina with the jew and jackie. we walk up and it kinda felt like a rape sinareo. four big mexican guys blocking the gate going "hey ladies". i was like oh my, this will be interesting. it was. there was beer, and i was like oh i like beer. im such a pansey, i had 5 and i threw up. whatever, i was drunk. it was nice. i was there till like 5am just talking to the remainder of the people there. they were all nice. thats all. :)

WARNING: Not all frogs turn into princes.

So i have decided that i am done with random guys for now. I'm done with random hookups and random sex. I want to go out on dates with nice boys who wont try to get in my pants right off the start. I want to have the kiss on the second date. I wnat to sit and talk... be friends with him before we do anything. i wnat someone who will play in the rain with me. I want someone who will have a bonfire with me. I need someone new.

I have a crush on a boy.

I'm gunna go dream about our wedding now.

So I am not ready for people to leave my life yet, but it is inevitable. People need to leave to get ahead in life, and make something out of them selves. I can appreciate that, but i don't want to accept that. Why can't it still be the summer when we all had just graduated, yet we were all just strting to experiance what lif eis really like? I never thought we would all have to mov eon so quickly. We are all making adult decisions, some more adult then others. I don't want to accept the fact that we all must grow up now. Why? i don't see a point in it yet.

how this week went:

Monday:started school.

Tuesday: Worked both jobs.

Wedsnesday: School, and night school.

Thursday: Work

Friday:school and work. Then drunken times at steves

Saturday:Work. More drunken times.

Sunday:Work.


wow. i lead a very exciting life dont i?